Needs More Ditka

Pierre has way more 'stashe than Podsednik

The White Sox acquired Juan Pierre earlier today in a trade with the Los Angeles Dodgers. The Dodgers will receive two players to be named later, but that’s not important right now. What is important is that the White Sox lineup looks, at least at the current moment, damn near complete. It is hardly going to blow the AL off its feet, trust me, but at the same time even the deepest pessimist can find a glimmer of hope in the unit Kenny Williams has assembled. Lucky for you, I am that pessimist - you just saved yourself a trip to the Sun-Time’s web site.

The White Sox know only one formula for winning. That formula is 2005. Before that they tried hitting a bunch and avoiding pitching, after that they decided bullpens were for pansies. 2005 was a miracle year, a year that can never truly be repeated. But I’ll be shot to Wrigley in a cannon if Kenny Williams hasn’t tried to do just that.

Let’s take a look at the roster:

LF and leadoff (too weird for you yet?) 2005 - Scott Podsednik 2010- Juan Pierre.
Juan Pierre is just the black Scott Podsednik. In 2010, he’s a minor upgrade to the 2009 Scotty Pods and possibly a downgrade from the 2005 version. Right now the world is telling you that Juan Pierre is going to smell like Crede on a roadtrip - I’d prefer to see him play in pinstriped black first. Also, stirrups give you a +2.
2B and two-hole hitter (ok, this is a bit peculiar) 2005 - Tadahito Iguchi 2010- Gordon Beckham
Iguchi came out of nowhere in 2005, Beckham has a one year head start and a much higher ceiling. 2010 Beckham is going to look a lot like Tadahito circa 2005. From that point on, not so much. But in 2010, a perfect intersection will occur.
DH and third-hitter (again, the same thing…) 2005 - Crazy Carl Everett 2010 - Andruw Jones
Ok, Andrew Jones won’t start the season batting 3rd, but he might just get there. That’s because Jones is Carl Everett 2005. Both ostracized by a community that didn’t understand them, both coming off an off year, (or two) both unbelievably talented players in the decline of their career, both not presumed to be the starting DH on the White Sox, and both surprised. It’s a prediction, enjoy it.
Cleanup hitter and first baseman - It will be Paul Konerko until the day you die.
Right fielder and fifth hitter - 2005 - Jermaine Dye 2010 - Carlos Quentin
Power-hitting under-rated right fielders that have had blimps in their career due to injury? Yeah, that comparison was too easy.
Centerfielder and sixth hitter - 2005 - Aaron Rowand 2010 - Alex Rios
Rios will never be as ‘grindy’ or beloved as Rowand, but he can put up pretty good numbers (look at every year except last) and is a very good defensive centerfielder, just like Rowand.
Catcher and seventh hitter - AJ Pierzynski subscribes to the Paul Konerko tape series on holding a relationship
Third baseman and eighth hitter - 2005 - Joe Crede 2010 - Mark Teahen
Teahen is not Joe Crede defensively, but his bat is pretty similar: .250 hitter 75 RBI’s per year. Bring Teahen to the southside bandbox and I bet he could put up the home run numbers similar to Crede as well. Now to deal with that defense thing….
Shortstop and ninth hitter - 2005 - Juan Uribe 2010 - Alexei Ramirez
Looking for a Caribbean-born player with all the defensive and offensive tools in the world that strikes out a lot but puts it together defensively? Hang out with the White Sox.

Kenny Williams is plotting a master plan to recreate the 2005 White Sox and he’ll probably go down for the count because of it - its like a remake of Diner - it can be done right and it could work again, but why try? You are only setting yourself up for failure.

Luckily, like in 2005, expectations are low and the White Sox have the best pitching staff in the division and a bullpen that looks formidable on paper. I’m not saying its going to happen, but the formula is in place, and it shall be very interesting to see if the formula is, in fact, golden.